Why We Should Hug Tories...

There have been many blog posts over the past few weeks or months about the Conservatives and gay rights. Most of them have been examples of exhaustive, agonising examination of the Shadow Cabinet. And some of the points raised by the bloggers have been important and constructive. However, what I find extremely distasteful, is the way in which we have begun to use it in the Party, as a political football.

Ask me the question “Which political party in the UK is most committed to gay rights?”

The answer would come back loud and clear, “The Liberal Democrats.”



From the perspective of Liberal Youth Wales, it is amazing to see our consistent arguments and policy ideas being taken forward by Nick Clegg. In 2007 MIDR Cymru persuaded the Welsh Liberal Democrats to vote to allow gay men to donate blood. It is great to see this policy being strongly supported by Nick Clegg.

In 2009, our youth organisation (now known as IR Cymru) persuaded the Welsh Liberal Democrats to pass a policy in which we would institute compulsory anti-homophobic bullying guidance (and sex education) in all schools whether public, state or faith. It is incredible to see this policy being supported by Nick Clegg in his interviews with Attitude and Pink News.

So, let us be clear and let us be clearly happy. The Liberal Democrats (as ever, on gay rights) lead the way. We are miles ahead of the other parties in seeing what must be done, and having the political will to do it.

However... do we need to constantly attack Cameron on gay rights? This constant wailing (it seems to me) is only distracting from something which we should be pleased about. A Conservative leader actually talking about gay issues and listening to them? A Conservative leader, actually considering how to end homophobic bullying? Incidentally, his plans are ridiculous and designed to avoid any major clash with the religious establishment. But that’s an attack on his policy, and not on him.

Yes, there are serious questions to ask of the Conservatives. But why can’t we be happy for once, and welcome the Conservatives into the 20th Century? They can join us in the 21st Century in the next decade, but can we at least be pleased that for possibly the first time, gay men and women can choose either of the three main parties based on their political beliefs and not based on having to defend their sexuality?

It has always appeared to me that there is too much of a focus on “gay” as an identity (just as much as there is too much of a focus on “Catholic”, “Liberal Democrat”, “British”, “Welsh”, etc, identity). When you meet someone, you don’t want them to say, “I’m Billy, I’m gay.” You want them to say “I’m Billy”, and be happy that they are a person, with all the complexities and beliefs and issues any person will have.

If religion, sexuality, disability, etc, becomes the sole determining factor of that person’s identity, that person will constantly have to fight everyone. It also means that that “culture” and “identity” becomes closed-off, elitist, dismissive of change. For example: the gay community and culture. I know many LGBT people who find that community quite dismissive and closed-off to gay people of certain views and beliefs – and (although a minority) of a certain size.

By having just one identity, it means that, because an entire being is taken up with one identity, one “raison d’etre”, there can be no room for compromise. There can be no room for the appreciation of other beliefs and ideas, no room for the acceptance that a multicultural society needs to survive.

This blog post is turning very heavy, very quickly. But it is not enough for us to boldly declare, “We have a multicultural society” and expect society to follow suit. No. We must work hard, and see places where compromise is possible, and places where compromise is not. We must ensure that people are able to identify with many different communities, ideas and beliefs. Because then as individuals, we can reach out to join others, rather than putting up walls (or being at the receiving end of others’ walls) that create division and hatred.

The Conservatives are a perfect example. Do I believe the entire Party has changed? Nope. But do I believe that Cameron is at least genuine in having had a rethink about his beliefs on homosexuality? Yes. I may detest the man and his politics, but to criticise a man for now supporting gay rights just because he never used to, seems a bit much.

How are we meant to persuade anyone with entrenched views about gay rights to support gay rights, if we lambast the man who does a U-turn on his beliefs?

We need to be grown up about it. And we need to welcome Cameron into the new era of accepting gay rights.

And direct our questions and accusations of homophobia against other members of his Party, not the man who did risk a great deal by raising the subject of gay partnerships at a Conservative Party conference.

You do not gain equality and acceptance by forcing it on people. You gain equality and acceptance by preserving your own freedoms and then slowly (and yes, infuriatingly slowly) working to convince others to support your different views.

You don’t gain equality and acceptance by bellowing down anyone who thinks differently, or who used to think differently.