Sunday, 20 February 2011

Whatever you do... don't mention Coco Pops!

It was a Saturday. Carwyn Jones had just finished his speech, and Leighton Andrews had prepared well for his appearance before the media. He was nervous. He had watched Fawlty Towers the night before. That, and his guilt about the funding gap between English and Welsh students had combined to create the weirdest dreams, where the Coco Monkey was doing a goose-step round a British hotel screaming, “DON’T MENTION THE COCO POPS!”



To be fair, it must have been terrifying. And maybe that’s why he dressed the way he did. He had chosen a saucy little number. Jeans, suit, shirt and tie (deliberate reference to fashion – may start describing male fashion more, until people stop describing the fashion of female politicians). It was a brave choice of attire, but the mismatched jeans and suit combination was an unfortunate parallel of the disjointed nature of his tenure as Education Minister.

Leighton Andrews is everything that is wrong with (Newer) Newish Welsh New (now Old again) Labour.

Education Failure and Criminal Political Games


He is desperately trying to bring Education back under the absolute control of the Welsh Assembly Government. Now maybe it’s necessary sometimes to keep monitoring what’s happening especially with regards to standards. But he keeps avoiding the issue: Welsh pupils are underfunded, compared to English pupils, by £527!

Now I’m sure when asked about this, he’ll say “DON’T MENTION THE COCO POPS!” or maybe that old classic, “TORY-LED GOVERNMENT SPENDING CUTS!”



Yes, he will try and blame it on London.

But please. The Welsh people aren’t stupid. And he needs to stop treating us like we are. Labour was in power in London since 1997. So in that case... who is to blame for failures in Wales? Since 1997 Labour have been in charge in Wales in every Government. And believe me; an education spending gap of £527 doesn’t just turn up after a year of a Coalition Government.

So who is to blame? Leighton Andrews, and his predecessors.

Do you know what make this worse?

The introduction of the Liberal Democrats’ policy of the Pupil Premium in London could have meant a huge amount of money for Welsh schools – for the poorest Welsh schools. Now imagine it. All those lovely Labour champagne socialists in the Bay need to think about this. Imagine it. Those schools in Wales, some of who are failing the poorest and most vulnerable communities in Wales, could have been given more funding to target their poorest children.

Instead, Leighton ignored the policy. I mean, it’s a Lib Dem idea, isn’t it Leighton? We can’t go having Lib Dem ideas that actually work being implemented, can we?

And then there’s his awful, awful response to a question yesterday.

When asked about his free breakfast policy, Leighton erupted. “DON’T MENTION THE COCO POPS!” he spat hysterically. Maybe it reminded him of his nervous dream the night before? It must be hard, spending every night worrying that the people of Wales might wake up to his shocking underfunding of our education system.

Or maybe it’s because he was asked a question.



Leighton doesn’t like questions. They’re too much effort for this man. They’re far too much effort for someone who rules by diktat. They’re far too much effort for this Minister who has tried time and time again to bring more and more power into his Department.

But there are tough times coming up. And what would the people of Wales rather see: Coco Pops in the bowls of kids? Or real investment to tackle the huge, gross inequality in our small country?

As Kirsty Williams said a few Conference ago. You don’t tackle poverty by “waving a piece of toast at it”.

Sorry. I mentioned the Coco Pops. And toast. Please don’t hit me, Leighton.